a picture is worth a thousand words

a big difference

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i am not the jerk whisperer

A friend passed on a wise quote to me this morning… “Don’t judge ME unless you are PERFECT!”

That sums up what has happened in the last 24 hours. You see, I have an acquaintance who is currently morbidly obese. He’s in a dangerous situation with his weight and has a family and five children to consider. He can barely walk because of the pressure on his knees. It feels simply awful to be limited physically and emotionally by your own body. We’ve had many a discussion about how far I’ve come with weight loss. He always seemed supportive and my hope was to be mutually inspiring, after all I have been class III morbidly obese and I turned it around on my own. This fellow was once an athlete and he has remarked on many an occasion about how he misses that status. As a younger man he was a black belt in both aikido and karate as well as being an award-winning body builder. My acquaintance started seeing a personal trainer recently and I think that is absolutely wonderful and I said so.  Then it went all wrong, to the point that I’d love to tell him to kiss my…

Here’s what happened between Paul and I.

Paul started spouting off that “without a trainer you just don’t get that 110% we all need” and was sure to point out that I am not doing what it takes publicly. He wouldn’t let up. Finally, fed up, I respectfully responded with why I think that a blanket statement like that isn’t necessarily true for everyone. It isn’t! There are many, many people who push themselves as hard as a trainer would. Me for instance, I’ve lost almost half my body weight and I’ve done it on my own, without a gym, without a trainer, but with a whole heap of determination. There are some people who desperately need the motivation and support a trainer can provide. I get that and I applaud people who take the step forward and use the resources out there. Sure, I’ve considered a trainer but I felt that I’ve been doing a very consistent job on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I think having a personal trainer is a great idea especially when it comes to proper form and preventing injury. I have the benefit of not needing one. I may, one day, consider a coach when I get into longer distance running because I see the value in that too. There will be times where I will likely need guidance to build my endurance and increase my distances and a coach would be a fabulous resource. I do plan on having help at some point for the long distance running. Right now the numbers on the scale, the look of my body, and the vast improvements in my fitness level paint a clear picture that I am pushing hard and that’s all I need.

During our conversation I mentioned to Paul that I am seriously considering running my first half marathon in May 2013, provided I am given the go-ahead by my cardiologist and endocrinologist. This was his response…

“Laurie, I don’t care if you come in first in May. You and everyone would do better with a little help from a trainer. To think you know more then everyone is crazy. You have only been working out for a very short time of your life maybe you should stop and think that other people may know something more then you. I hope you keep it up I know people that do it for, maybe 2 years some 5 some. I’ve been 25 years. Let’s talk after you have done it as long as I have. Then maybe we will see it you feel the same way about a trainer. I lost 100 lbs at 13 and then went on to get 4 black belts and 3 bodybuilding shows. Something 1% of people do. It’s not a stupid little run that lots of people do. So when you talk about pushing yourself 110% well, I’m sorry but it’s funny. After all that I would still say a trainer is a great thing to help even me, after all my years working out. My wife and I made a change to get back into it. We didn’t come to it from nothing like you are. She would run like crazy when she was in school 10 years ago. Yes I’m big, my back sucks, but I’m still the same guy with over 25 years of living the life. You are not. You never will be. Remember that.”

Excuse me? Did I say I knew it all? Did I say that I felt I knew more than everyone? Of course, I know a lot about diabetes. I live with this disease every day and I’ve proven, by reversing it, that I really have my head wrapped around how my body works. Sure I’ve only been at this fit way of living a short while but I’m working very hard at it. Before the running I backpacked and hiked and paddled. Oh, and since when is a half marathon (21.1 km) “a stupid little run” and even if it is to some people, why be demeaning about my athletic aspirations?  I don’t deserve to be treated like that.  I am doing something and embracing my inner athlete. Sure I haven’t had the experience that this man has had and I don’t deny that back in the day he was probably a force to be reckoned with. I don’t argue that he is probably quite knowledgeable. I never was. I was obese from early childhood. That’s my past and my present is much different. I think it’s unfortunate that Paul went from being an athlete to a person harboring negativity towards me as he struggles with obesity issues. I’ve been obese and it’s not an easy life. Paul goes on about “over 25 years of living the life”.  He stopped having an athletic life a long time ago. I’m not judging, because things happen in our lives, but I don’t think Paul has the right to tell me that I am not “living the life” as he so pompously put it when his lifestyle has been so dramatically unhealthy.

I live as clean as I can every day. I watch what I eat, I balance my blood sugars to the point of not needing medications for this disease, I exercise, and I push myself to do better and go further with every workout. I may not be a black belt or winning awards but I am doing something that keeps me fit and that I enjoy doing. I don’t think awards won well over a decade ago, spending money on fad diets or a personal trainer have anything to do with whether or not one is giving 110%. What matters is the here and now—what I am doing today. I’ve worked very hard to reach the point where I am merely overweight rather than obese and I am proud of that and what I continue to do. It wasn’t easy going from having a BMI of over 50 to having one below 29 and being so very close to what is medically considered “normal” weighted. I am very happy with my progress, motivated, determined, and I love doing all of this with my family. It’s fun—it’s our family lifestyle and not about awards or black belts or other accolades. I’m not out to have my ego stroked—this is about being healthy so I can live a longer life. Anyway, my biggest award is how I feel and how active I’ve become. It’s about the personal best and not about competition with others. It’s about having fun and enjoying life while being fit.

I work out several times a week. I trained for a 5K race and I ran it.  I trained for a hill relay and I did twice as much as I expected to be able to do (8.4K). It wasn’t easy nor were those harrowing hills “a stupid little run”.  It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to date. I exceeded my own tough standards at both events and now I’m working towards a 10K and eventually a half marathon. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll run a full marathon or an ultra. I’ve toned my body and continue to do so. I’ve pushed myself and increased my intensity and distance. I did it safely to avoid injury or damage to my health. I’ve cross-trained. Three weeks ago I bought a new bike. I already have well over 200 km on it. We hike and canoe, although not nearly as much as I would like. We are also starting to plan bike-packing trips for when baby girl is old enough. My running pace is improving, as are my strength and endurance.  Some day I may even attempt a triathlon or an adventure race. I am more fit, especially from a cardiovascular standpoint, than I’ve been in my entire life. Most of all, I live a very healthy lifestyle with my friends and family.

So what gives Paul  the right to judge me just because I don’t feel that I would benefit from a personal trainer at this point in the game? I certainly don’t need one for motivation. I have plenty of motivation right here. It comes from my children. It comes from a very supportive husband and friends who do many of these activities with me. It comes from being diabetic and not wanting to end up back on injections or worse, blind. It comes from knowing that my brother died at age 56 because he didn’t take care of his body. It comes from knowing that heart disease has hit many in my family prematurely. It comes from the want to be as vibrant and alive as I can be and not just a spectator in life. I sure didn’t reverse diabetes by eating junk. I eat healthy and clean for the most part. I rarely drink alcohol. I don’t drink juice or soft drinks. And with all of that I’ve done what some said was impossible. A good lifestyle starts in the kitchen and if you aren’t doing what’s right there, it will show whether you have a trainer or not.

The bottom line is… I’m doing what works for me. I’m motivated. I’m active. I’m losing weight in a healthy way. My physicians are pleased ecstatic. I love my body. I feel really good. I’m proud. I’m ready to tackle my next milestone and conquer new challenges.

As for this man’s condescension—it is what it is. Does it change our friendship? Yes, it most certainly does and it is pretty cut and dry for me.  I don’t keep negative people in my life, after all, I am not the jerk whisperer.

To the person who sent me the quote, thank you. It speaks volumes.

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another before & after

The last before & after I posted was in November 2011 and I had just started a Couch to 5K program in order to run my first race. That first race was a week ago and I had a much better pace than I expected. In fact, I set a new PR  (a term runners use for one’s personal record).

Since I started running back at the end of November, I’ve lost more weight and I’ve toned my body more than I expected I would. I’ve discovered I have bad-ass long legs. I always knew I had long legs but it seems the leaner they get, the longer they look. A lady I occasionally run with started calling me “Leggie Lu”. Aside from the legs, I’ve also gained some muscle. Rather than obsess with the scale I’ve tracked my progress with a seamstress’ tape measure. The results… well, since Christmas I have lost 11 inches overall.  I’ve lost inches off my waist, bust, and abdomen. I lost one inch off my neck and a little bit off the upper arms. My calves and thighs are the same measurements but instead of soft and squishy, they are toned and solid. Muscular. I still have weight to lose and toning to do but I can really see (and feel) the results. I’m also finding bones that I’ve never felt—like my hip bones and my collar bone.

Oddly, when I look back, I don’t really remember the obese lady that I was. How I felt and how I carried all that weight has become a mere memory. Sometimes I look at the photos and I forget that was me hiding behind the physical and emotional walls that held me prisoner. Other times I feel like I am looking at a photo of a stranger. Back then I would have argued that I was active and healthy even though I was obese. Obesity is NEVER healthy, physically or emotionally and I am so thankful I did what it takes to get this far. I am now overweight and not obese. Soon I will be out of that category too—I don’t have far to go in comparison to how far I have already come in this battle.

You may wonder why I reflect on this. Why not forget about the past?  Taking a look at the journey I’ve made so far is important because it reminds me that I’ve worked much too hard at achieving a healthy lifestyle to ever regress to being morbidly obese again.  The most important part of why I do this is simply to keep a positive outlook and continue being motivated to move forward. To see how far I’ve come amazes and inspires me. Hopefully my story will bring inspiration to others as well because, if I can do this, anyone can! All it takes is a commitment to change and the motivation to follow through.  No excuses!

So, with that in mind, here is are two more before & after photos.

before – over 300 pounds

morning of my first race

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wednesday & another milestone conquered

I woke up this morning with a full-fledged cold. I’m whiney and I want my Mom and a hot cup of tea and a good book and a nap. As the Rolling Stones sing, “You can’t always get what you want…” I’m a Mom, first and foremost. We all know that, as a Mom, my responsibilities just can’t be shelved for a day while I wallow about feeling unwell. I have to do what needs done for the children.

This lifestyle journey of mine is another way that I do everything I can for my children. Being healthy, active, and happy is akin to when I put my little ones before being a sucky baby with a cold. There are times when I don’t want to workout but while I may not feel up to it but I have to commit to it for my children and for myself. To give it my best effort sets a shining example for Tobias and Kaia. It lengthens my life and makes me happy. Being happy means I can give more to them emotionally too.

Speaking of lifestyle, health, and happiness, I figured I’d step on the scale this morning to see where I am at. I know, I know, I said I was going to avoid the scale but I could not resist. Remember? I am obsessed. I’ve felt my body changing and that was most evident when I bought the dress last Saturday. It wasn’t just about the size on the tag, which actually was a bit of a pleasant shock to me, but it was how it looked on me and how it made me feel on Monday when I put it on to show my girl friend. I decided that perhaps I should just take a little peek at my weight and I even justified it with wanting to update my weight in DailyMile so that value for calories burned in each workout has some accuracy.

The result? You expected a number didn’t you? Let’s just put it this way… I am at the smallest I’ve been, from a height-weight perspective, since just before my 14th birthday. That’s a mere 29 years ago. I am proud but more importantly, I am happy about the message that leading a healthy lifestyle is sending to my children.

And… I have 27 pounds to go before I am no longer considered overweight by medical standards. Of course, that number is a BMI calculation and muscle vs. fat ratio will play a definite role in the final outcome but it gives me an idea of how little I have left to lose. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I have come from being in the category of Class III obesity with a BMI of around 53 to being in the overweight category with a BMI of 27.2.

One word comes to mind… Awesomeness!

(is that even a word? lol… oh well, it is now)

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going shopping… part two

Did I mention that I dislike shopping? Nothing has changed. I decided, rather than realize my worst nightmare by braving the mall, to head to a local ladies store that specializes in plus-sized clothing.

When I walked in I grabbed a few dresses off the rack and was heading towards the change room when a kind and very bubbly staff member intercepted me. She said she’d take the items back for me so I didn’t have to carry them while I looked around. Then, after taking a quick glance at my shape, told me that they were much too large for me. The nice lady went and fetched more appropriate sizes and whisked them off to the dressing rooms. Upon her return, she spoke to me about what kind of dress I was looking for.

She showed me a trendier dress with an off-white and gray to black pattern that reminded me a little bit of the tie-dying I did as teenager, without all the wild colors. In the centre of the chest was a black section of fabric in a diamond shape; embellished with sequins reminiscent of gemstones. I liked the fabric but I wasn’t sure about the gathering that leads to the decoration… right between my breasts. My girls are big enough without drawing attention there. I don’t know if it was the way I looked at the dress with horror or the pallor of my skin that tipped her off but she said, “Trust me; this will look perfect on you.”

I won’t even get into a discussion about how I feel when the words “trust me” are uttered. I was positive that this was not the dress for me. I reluctantly headed into the dressing room where I now had ten frocks to try on. “Let’s get this over with” I thought with a grimace. I started with my favorite; well at least it was my favorite on the mannequin in the store—a purple dress with ruching and three-quarter length sleeves. Sigh. This was definitely not the dress for me. It clung in all the wrong places. Next was one with a white background, an intricate black pattern, and a red block along the bottom section. I put it on and it made me look old. Not that I am a spring chicken but it was a bit matronly.

My frustration levels were rising when the oh-so-cheery clerk came back to see if I needed any help. She asked if I had tried on the dress that she thought was the one for me. I politely said “no” as I really didn’t have any intention of trying it on. Next, I put on the tummy-tuck dress that is apparently supposed to make you look an inch smaller. I loved this one on the website, not so much in person. I don’t have enough of a derriere to make the skirt hang right. Compression in running pants is a good thing, in a plus-sized dress, not flattering at all. This was followed by several other dresses. Too big. Too clingy. Too shiny. Too long. Too expensive. Too short. I was out of dresses, except for one.

By this time I was feeling pretty dejected about the whole experience. Screw it! I decided to try on the dress that the sales clerk had been trying to talk me into. Fabric feels nice. This makes my silhouette look good. It hangs right. It didn’t make my breasts look any bigger, however, it didn’t make them look any smaller either. The length was perfect. The neckline was good.  Hmmm. The oh-so-cheery store clerk was right… this dress looked awesome on me and check out my legs!

I bought the garment and then proceeded across the parking lot to the shoe store. Luck would have it that I found a great pair of shoes to go with the new dress. A low heeled pair of open-toed, sling backs that would look amazing with the dress. They fit nice and were comfortable and they were even on sale. I paid for them and sent Bryan a text to come pick me up with coffee from Tim Hortons to soothe me.

So I did it. I bought a dress and it isn’t even a solid colour. I bought shoes with a heel… and I made it through the ordeal relatively unscathed. Bryan thinks it makes me look “sexy”, so that’s a plus. My next adventure… maybe hair and make-up or maybe I’ll go hiking instead.

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how I lost an entire person

When I show people my “before” photos I get all sorts of reactions. Some friends, who didn’t know the largest version of me, say that there is no way that was the same person. Others expect to hear that I made this transformation in a relatively short time, perhaps a year. Then there are those who ask what program I used or if I had surgery.

So how did I do it and how long did it take? I’ve touched on this lightly in the past and it has been a long journey.

Let’s start with a little overview. The weight didn’t pile on overnight. I was obese from early childhood. Around my 30th birthday I hit the highest weight ever—an estimated 375-390 pounds. It took over a decade to get where I am now, just hovering slightly over 200 pounds. Some years had more substantial weight losses than others but the important thing is that I never gained any of the weight back. Sure, sometimes I would hit a big plateau or there would be a few pounds of fluctuation on the scale. Often those fluctuations were because of increased muscle mass, or dehydration causing me to retain fluids, or just part of my womanly cycle.

One of the biggest misconceptions about the obese is that every fat person eats a ton of junk food. While it does happen, my situation was a bit different. I was notorious for eating one meal every 24 hours. This kicked my body’s metabolic rate into a sort of starvation mode and in turn, it held on to every single calorie. Because I was so hungry I would often eat too much at that one sitting and what I ate wasn’t always nutritionally balanced as far as carbohydrate to protein and fat is concerned. With my metabolism went my energy levels. Without fuel in my body during the course of the day, I was tired. Exhausted might be a better word. I became depressed and I hung out on the sofa quite a bit because I didn’t have the energy to do more than that.

I didn’t have surgery although I contemplated it quite seriously. I didn’t join a program because I don’t have a lot of faith in things like Jenny Craig, NutriSystem and Dr. Bernstein. Why? Well I’ve seen a lot of failures in regards to those programs and all too often people revert back to their old habits because they are unable to maintain their weight loss. I think the pre-packaged foods of programs like Jenny Craig or the starvation methods of a program like Dr. Bernstein are part of the problem but these programs don’t fix the mindset and that’s why I avoided them like the plague. Some even focus on losing weight for a goal, like looking fabulous in that summer swimsuit. The mindset should be losing weight for health. This all said, I did follow the Weight Watchers’ Points in the very early days of this journey but I wasn’t signed up for the program, I merely used it as a guide. It allowed me to eat normal foods in proper portions and the points system was designed around the nutritional information of each food. But it wasn’t just that which contributed to my loss. I’ve dropped a good deal of the weight as a direct result of learning about my metabolism and getting off my behind and moving it. Food should be fuel not a means of quieting emotion or seeking comfort. If you overfilled the tank of your SUV you’d make a big mess. Overeating, especially all in one sitting, does that to our bodies except we store it as fat.

Food as Fuel
Now I eat six times a day and if you looked at my total food volume for a 24 hour period you’d find that I eat considerably more than I did when I was morbidly obese. The difference is that the food is portioned, balanced, and spread throughout the day. I have a sensible breakfast. I have a morning snack, especially if I am running or working out that morning, and then a good lunch. I have a snack later in the afternoon because we eat dinner around 6:30 pm. That is usually something like an apple or some crackers with a tiny bit of cheese. Dinner is balanced. The plate is half veggies and salad. One quarter lean meat or other protein (sometimes vegetarian) and the last quarter of the plate is for carbohydrates. When I choose carbohydrates I most often go for high fibre items or those with a good nutritional profile. I try to steer clear of processed foods but sometimes you’ll find the odd thing in my fridge like salad dressing or roasted red pepper hummus. I avoid white rice and limit white pasta to once or twice a month. When I do eat white rice or pasta it is a small portion offset by loads of veggies or a big salad. I also use a plate that is 9.5 inches in diameter but dips down in the central portion. This central portion measures 7 inches and I limit the food to that area. I also have a small bedtime snack. In the winter this may be a cup of cocoa and in the summer it might be a piece of grilled fruit or some fresh berries.

This way of eating also fits in well with being diabetic, with being a runner, and with weight loss. I never feel deprived and it has made our whole family healthier.

Move
The other key to this journey has been exercise. Lots of it. I told myself to get off my ass and move! I didn’t get like this overnight and it was going to take a lot of hard work and time to change things. I didn’t go to a gym, although there is great benefit to having a gym membership. I became my own nutritionist and my own personal trainer. And let me tell you… I’m as tough on myself as any trainer you’ve seen on The Biggest Loser. I could give Jillian Michaels a serious run for her money in the witch-with-a-captial-B department. I don’t accept excuses from myself and I actually have a rough time accepting them from others. In the words of Yoda, “Do or Do Not. There is no try.”

So, what did I do?

I started walking. Slowly. It was all I could do but I pushed as hard as I could, often to the point where I was in tears. I would not let myself give up. When that got easy, I walked faster and then migrated to more rugged terrain. Hills. I did exercise videos. The first was Gaiam’s Yoga for Weight Loss. I moved on to Pilates for Weight Loss from the same company. After that it was Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds (with hand weights) followed by her 5-Mile Fat Burning Walk. From 2007 to 2010, I walked my son back and forth to school each day. This was a little less than 4 km in total. Then I took a part-time job at the school as a lunch/recess monitor which meant about another 2 km each day. I left the job to have a baby and went back to using the DVDs while she napped. I day hike, backpack, snowshoe (although Mother Nature was not co-operating with the snow this year), and canoe.  We’ve even had the baby on her first wilderness trips. I cycle on the local trails in the warmer weather. And now, I run,  as you know from the plethora of posts I’ve made on the sport.

I had to start running because I just wasn’t getting enough intensity out of walking anymore and I had hit a plateau. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make. I was scared to death. I could barely run a minute when I started but the thing is I did start and I’ve come far with it. I’ve started yoga and strengthening exercises too. This is because I feel restless on my days off from running. Exercise also boosts metabolism and keeps my blood sugar and blood pressure at healthy levels. This makes it a win-win-win situation.

When you hit a plateau it means it is time to push yourself a little harder and shake up your routine and, if needed, adjust your nutritional plan. One thing I have noticed is that I haven’t lost much, at least as far as a number on the scale is concerned, since I started running but I see my body transforming. I have a waist (where did that come from?) and I’ve lost inches off every spot but my calves where I gained about 1/3 of an inch. Muscle. My legs are firm and solid, even my thighs. Now I need to work on other trouble spots such as my flabby arms and my core. It’s a work in progress and I am enjoying the challenges.

Speaking of personal trainers… I think having a personal trainer is a wonderful idea because, frankly, not everyone has the stubborn determination that I’ve had to train and stick with it. There is also the issue of proper form. A trainer helps you learn to do the exercises in a way to prevent injury and to target areas of specific concern. I’ve been fortunate to have access to people who’ve helped with that along the way but not everyone is as lucky. A personal trainer who is also well-versed in nutrition can give you some great insight when it comes to how you should be eating to reach your goals in a healthy way that promotes maintaining the goal once you get there.

Motivation
I’ve written a lot about what motivates me. This is a big part of my success and it comes from seeing my family history, having supportive and active friends, a spouse who is excited about our whole family doing fitness activities together, and the little things that creep into my daily life. These little inspirations show up in the most unexpected places. It could be as simple as the tulips coming up through the snow or a line in a song on the radio. It can also be a note from someone reading my blog or an article in a running magazine. I just never know where the day’s motivation is going to come from. There are days when it is simply from sharing my own story with all of you.

Maybe today your motivation comes from me. If it does, let me know, because hearing your story adds to the inspiration.

B(e) Positive… and Get Moving!

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diabetes—how it works with exercise

One thing I have come to realize is that many people, even some Type 2 diabetics, don’t understand what Type 2 diabetes is and how it affects exercise.

Before I go on, let me state that I am not a doctor, endocrinologist, nutritionist, nurse, diabetic educator and that what I am about to tell you is what I have learned as a diabetic. Always consult with your doctor about any exercise program you intend to start and your nutritionist about ways to manage diabetes with diet. Remember, everyone is different and what works for me, might not work for you.

This is a simplified version of what is going on in the body.

A non-diabetic person without excess weight is insulin sensitive. When they consume carbohydrates the body produces insulin to help the cells use the sugars. Think of the insulin as a key to cells with a big padlock on them. The insulin unlocks the cells and they use the energy.

Obesity causes the body to be less insulin sensitive so when carbohydrates are consumed the cells remain locked because not enough insulin is released and used by the cells. Then that glucose gets dumped into the bloodstream rather than the cells. That’s why Type 2 diabetes is practically epidemic in our countries and can be managed with diet and exercise in some cases. Now Type 1 is a totally different beast where the pancreas doesn’t produce insulin. Type 1 Diabetes (also know as Juvenile Diabetes) and the need for medication cannot be reversed like Type 2 can and those with Type 1 diabetes will be on insulin until we find a cure.

The body uses insulin to restore muscle glycogen after intense physical activity and to transport necessary amino acids into the muscles. That’s why many athletes rely on a carbohydrate-rich diet before intense training or a big event. You’ll often hear of runners using something like chocolate milk as a recovery drink too.

Obesity doesn’t just effect the Type 2’s insulin resistance, it will effect how much weight is lost. I remember being over 360 pounds. When I would try to lose weight I could drop 15-20 pounds in a week because the caloric burn was so great when I did anything… walking, hiking, etc. I lost weight more easily despite hormonal issues. The same activity now, when I am a mere 30 pounds from being a perfectly regular weight, burns far less calories. When you are obese it takes considerably more energy just for you to exist. That’s partially why you see such dramatic weight loss in shows like The Biggest Loser. I used to laugh when my “skinny” friends would say that they are “so fat” and “it’s so hard to lose 10 pounds“. It’s a lot more work in some ways than it was when I was stage 3 morbidly obese.

A healthy, lean body uses calories more efficiently. When we do cardiovascular exercise (hiking, running, etc) the muscles make and use energy. This is very dependent on force, movement and intensity. There is a compound that our muscles produce too. It is called ATP (adenosine tri-phosphate). Muscle glycogen provides more glucose during high intensity workouts but stores can wane when doing something for a long duration and that’s why I found snacking on some carbohydrates while hiking was helpful. A lean body is also more insulin sensitive so that energy gets used. Insulin dependent diabetics, even Type 1, often see a great difference in how much insulin they use when doing endurance related activities like backpacking and running.

One thing I have discovered is that even on a 4K run I hit a big wall if I don’t have 15 to 22 grams of carbohydrate about a half hour before I start. There are times where I’ve ignored the feelings and finished the workout only to find that my blood sugar was 3.0 mmol/L. This will even happen in a non-diabetic. Your body just doesn’t have enough energy and you start to feel it. When my readings are that low I start to get a little more uncoordinated than I usually am. I’ve learned, through much trial and error, what works for me. I test my blood before and after each run. When we are hiking or canoeing, I test throughout the activity and snack as needed. I carry emergency glucose (Dex4) as a failsafe.

Sure, dealing with diabetes and exercise requires dedication and really paying close attention to your body but given the choice of that or going back on insulin or glucophage, I’d rather put in the extra time needed to exercise. I have been fortunate enough to maintain a non-medicated HbA1c of 5.0 mmol/L for close to a year now. My prescription is physical activity fueled by a sensible, balanced diet and because of that I now present as a non-diabetic. One is deemed Type 2 diabetic when their HbA1c is >7.0 mmol/L. When I was diagnosed in 2009 my HbA1c was 17 mmol/L. Reversing the need for medication was not entirely easy and I work at it every day—in fact, I’d be lying to you if I said it wasn’t a pain in the butt sometimes. Not everyone can do it either. It means balancing diet with exercise and having enough intestinal fortitude to be strong about the commitment. It means counting carbohydrates and making good choices about what type of food I eat. I pay close attention to glycemic index and fat, especially saturated fat. I test my blood glucose 6 times a day and up to 10 when I am being very active. This also helps me work towards losing that last bit of weight.

Being a healthy diabetic takes determination, commitment, and time. It’s a horrible, nasty disease that many shrug off as no big deal. It is a big deal. Diabetics are at 6 times greater risk of stroke and heart disease which with my family history of the latter makes it pretty frightening. It can cause blindness through retinopathy. Diabetics can end up with peripheral artery disease, neuropathy, kidney disease, etc. Diabetes kills more people in North America than breast cancer and HIV combined.

My hope is that this post will help you understand how your body uses the food you put in it and a bit about why I am “obsessed” with fitness these days. Perhaps it will provide some inspiration too.

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from the heart

What better day than Valentine’s Day to tell you about what has been going on and why I took a bit of a sabbatical from posting?

As you, my dear reader know, I feel very strongly about people taking the reins with their health and doing something to improve it. If you are overweight, sedentary, smoking and eating things that you really shouldn’t, I urge you to start making changes now… the health of your heart is far too important to put off.  Love yourself enough to do something good for health today. Your heart will love you for it. Had I not been so pro-active with my own health, I’d be telling you a much different story right now (that is if I was alive to tell it).

Back in the middle of December I decided to ask my family doctor about my resting heart rate which is usually around 50 beats per minute. I realized that this can be quite normal in athletes but I had only been running for a month and not at the intensity or duration of a seasoned athlete. At the appointment my doctor noticed that my blood pressure was high too. That morning I had received word that I was to have laser surgery in both eyes to deal with macular edema. I was pretty stressed out about the whole thing. So with the low heart rate, high blood pressure under stress, and a family history of heart problems, my doctor agreed that maybe I should go for an ECG.

The results were finally revealed to me a month later because my family doctor dropped the ball. The evening before my eye procedure, which I was totally freaked out about, Dr. R. called me with news that my ECG was showing “borderline inferior Q waves” and that she believed that I had a past myocardial infarction which in layperson’s terms is a heart attack. What?!

She referred me to a cardiologist, Dr. J., and said that I would need an echocardiogram as soon as possible. I was to stop running and all other heart rate raising activity immediately and until further notice. She put me on a very low dose of Coversyl, an ACE inhibitor for blood pressure control.

The eye procedure went well but now I was very stressed out about this possible heart issue. I was devastated to think that I may have had a heart attack and not even known it. Silent heart attacks can happen in people with diabetes.  I was very disappointed that I was told I couldn’t run and that I had worked so hard for naught.  I was wallowing—it happens.

So, I went to Dr. J’s for the ECG and the echocardiogram the following week. The ECG came back normal and it was confirmed that I have never had a heart attack but the echocardiogram showed a tiny bit of thickening of the heart wall on the left side. This is known as LVH or Left Ventricular Hypertrophy (enlargement of the left side of the heart). Dr. J. indicated that he felt this was reversible and that I was probably already reversing a more serious case of it but without a previous echo to compare it with, he could not be 100% certain. You see, the heart is like any other muscle and when you work it hard it becomes thick. The thing is, you don’t want to do that with your heart. Being morbidly obese for so long meant that my heart had to work really hard to support my large body.  High blood pressure makes your heart work harder too. In fact, obesity and high blood pressure are two of the major causes of this condition. Like any muscle you can reverse this problem by not working it out so much. The other issues are that I have evidence for pulmonary hypertension and I have a slight outflow tract gradient and mild aortic valve stenosis which is what causes my heart murmur. Yikes.

Then he asked about my medical history as well as my family history of heart disease. He smiled when I told him that I had lost an entire person already and that I try to eat well and be active. I mentioned that I am training for my first 5K race. Then came the family history part. Dr. J. started writing. I told him that my Grandfather was diabetic and may have died of heart failure. I told him that my Dad had his first heart attack at my age as well as a triple-bypass about age 53 and that he died when he was 67. The doctor put his pen down. I said, “I’m not done yet” and I told him about the rest of our family along with how little certain people in my family care for their health by doing detrimental things like smoking, excessive drinking, making poor food choices, being sedentary, and the like.

The man looked quite worried and I asked him what was wrong. He replied, “Laurie, you have one of the worst family histories of premature coronary artery disease that I have ever seen. With that and the fact that you are diabetic, I’d like you to refrain from running until we can do an exercise stress test on the treadmill with a nuclear isotope called Cardiolite.” I started to cry. Then Dr. J. promised to have the testing done and results to me by the end of the next week. I asked a little more about the test and he said that essentially they want to make sure that I don’t have any issues with blood flow to the heart when under the strain of exercise. He’d be looking for blockages and clots.

To say I was scared would be an understatement. I read up on the procedure and learned everything I could about LVH. I finally decided that there wasn’t anything more that I could do for my health beyond what I am already doing. I would deal with whatever comes out of this last test with the same determination and care that I take with being a diabetic.

I donned my ever-so-cute running clothes and headed to the cardiology lab this past Thursday morning. I was in a waiting room with a group of heart patients in various states of poor health and I was excited about being able to run, even if medically supervised. Everyone else looked like they were dreading the treadmill test. I figured it wouldn’t do me any good to be stressed about it, so I put on my best smile and slipped my feet into my running shoes. To make a long story short, I maxed out the test duration which in this lab is 12 minutes. I was a little disappointed—I didn’t even break a good sweat. My lab tech was a former ultra-marathon runner so he totally understood my exuberance. And I went home to wait.

Normally these test results take 10 to 14 business days but Jen called from Dr. J.’s office that afternoon to tell me they’d have results in the morning and that as a precaution with my family history, Dr. J. would like me to start taking the lowest dose of a statin used for cholesterol control. He figured that with the way I am eating and the amount of exercise, I shouldn’t have an issue but he has concerns about familial hypercholesterolaemia (FH) which is a genetic defect where there is a lack of LDL receptors to remove cholesterol from the blood (um… thanks Dad). I’ve also inherited teeny-tiny blood vessels. When I asked about the medication he basically said that I could have a perfect diet, be active every day, and be at the ideal weight and still end up with cholesterol issues. With my tiny vascular system this medication is even more crucial because a little arterial plaque for me would be considerably more dangerous than it would be for someone with larger vessels.

I barely slept Thursday night, and by Friday morning I was quite anxious. I wanted to run again  and the treadmill test the day before made me realize just how much I missed it. 11:00 am came and went so I called Jen at Dr. J.’s office and left a message. Forty minutes later the phone rang. It was the doctor and he had my results. I was dead silent, bracing myself to hear the bad news. But the news was better than I could have hoped for.

My blood flow is good. He mentioned that I should continue to try and lose the rest of the weight which he knows I am working hard at.  I was told I have the all-clear to run even a half-marathon if I like. “Enjoy and remember to stay conversational when you run”, the doctor said. He wants to see me in six months just to follow-up on the medications and check on the LVH to ensure that this is indeed a reversal in progress. He told me to keep doing what I am doing and mentioned that if I hadn’t been so tenacious with my lifestyle changes we’d be dealing with a much worse outcome.

So… there I have it… I can run to my heart’s content. Literally, because exercise is good for the heart. I have to say that knowing I can resume my training was a very happy moment. Some day my activities may be restricted but I will do my darnedest to ensure that isn’t for a very long time.

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an obsession uncovered

The first step in getting help with an addiction is admitting one has a problem and I do have a problem. I am obsessed with the bathroom scale. I try to deny it and make excuses as to why I put myself through the torture of standing on the scale twice a day but the truth is, I just can’t help myself. I know that the scale lies and that it does not paint a completely accurate picture of health and weight loss—that’s why I now take my measurements instead.

So why does the scale lie? Well there are numerous reasons but almost all of them involve water.

Water retention is a big factor and how much water we retain is directly influenced by sodium intake, water consumption, and water loss. Considering that a litre of water weighs about a kilogram that can make for great variances on the scale. Women will also have times when they hold onto more water such as just before menstruation. Water losses can be fairly substantial when you are working out with intensity especially in the heat or for an extended period of time and you aren’t hydrating enough.

Glycogen stores are another factor that can give a false reading. You see muscle glycogen is stored with water.

If you weigh yourself after a meal it will be just like adding a hand-weight to the scale. Don’t worry the weight of the food you consumed won’t turn into the same weight on the scale once it is digested. You’d have to consume 3500 calories and not burn any of it off for that to happen. Many foods, as I have learned through writing wilderness cookbooks that rely partly on food dehydration, can be 80 to 90% water.

Fat is actually light for its size and lean muscle is heavy for its size. I’m not saying muscle weighs more than fat but merely that a pound of muscle will take up a lot less space. If you are on a workout program that is building muscle, especially something like running, your losses on the scale may not match what you see in the mirror or with the tape measure. The leg muscles are the largest in our body and when we work them hard, that burns more calories and fat.

So, don’t be alarmed if you see some ups and downs on the scale. If you can, hide that bathroom scale away, so that you aren’t obsessing over it like I have been. I now check my weight at my doctor’s office where I also get better idea of my overall health. It’s so much better to focus on enjoying a healthy lifestyle and celebrating fitness accomplishments than it is to be defined by a number.

My promise…

I     w i l l     r e s i s t      t h e      u r g e      t o
s t e p      o n        t h e      s c a l e !

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why do I run?

It was just about eight or nine weeks ago that I stepped on the dreadmill to run for the very first time. My intervals were a mere minute each. Now they are ten minutes and I run for a total of twenty-two minutes every session. Today I bump that up to twenty-five minutes per workout. I couldn’t be more proud of myself and how far I’ve moved toward completing my first race.  There are so many reasons that I run and I am really just discovering them myself.

Diabetes
As many of you know I am a Type 2 diabetic who has reversed the need for medication. This was not an easy task and exercise plays a significant role in that. The day I was taken off glucophage, my endocrinologist commented that if he could write a prescription for exercise and have the majority of his Type 2 patients follow it then many others could do what I have done. While I am off medications, I am still and will always be diabetic. Being fit and active will help with some of the nasty side effects of this disease… retinopathy, macular edema, and neuropathy have already reared their ugly heads. Blood sugar control keeps them from worsening and physical activity is key to that. Other risks of being diabetic are  kidney failure, heart attack, and stroke.  In fact, diabetics are at several times greater risk of heart disease and stroke than non-diabetics. I don’t take those risks lightly and being here to see my children grow up is paramount to me so I take running like others would pop a pill.

Weight loss and Nutrition
I’ve come very far, as you know, but I still have some weight to lose. I found that the workouts I had been doing in the past just weren’t giving me the challenge and level of cardiovascular intensity that I needed and I had hit a plateau. Big time. I find that running helps me stay in the right mindset about the food choices I make too. I look closely at what my body needs as a diabetic athlete and I create my meals with that in mind. Foods such as quinoa offer a healthy combination of carbohydrate, protein and amino acids. Vegetarian choices hit the menu several times a week and when I do eat meat, I’ve been choosing leaner types and watching portion sizes. When I do indulge, such as the dessert I had on Christmas Eve, I pre-plan a workout session so that I can have the treat and enjoy it without the guilt or chance of gaining any weight.

Fitness
Building my cardiovascular fitness with running will also help me with other areas of my life. Backpacking and hiking will be easier because I am strengthening my lungs and I should have more endurance on wilderness hiking and paddling trips. It also helps me to be a more active Mom. I seem to recover from colds more speedily than in the past—perhaps because I still run, sick or not. I feel better overall. I don’t get winded doing simple tasks like going from the third floor to the basement with a big basket of laundry or running after an active toddler all day. I’m also finding that I’m toning and I’ve discovered I have a waist. Where did that come from? That’s a big deal because I haven’t seen my waist for about three decades.

Being a Role Model
Part of being a Mom is setting a good example for my kids when it comes to being active and eating right. Being healthy and modeling a healthy lifestyle is the biggest and most important gift I can give them. Sadly, my parents and siblings didn’t set good examples when it comes to proper nutrition and physical activity. As offensive as it sounds, they were a bit clueless and it certainly started me out on the wrong path considering I was seriously overweight as early as kindergarten. I can’t change the past but I can certainly change what happens today and what my children see as the norm. This role modelling goes beyond my children and it is my hope that it extends to my friends and family as well.

Exhilaration
It’s hard for me to put into words how great I feel when I run. I get off the treadmill or come home from the track and I feel a little bit of that runner’s high. To know that I did something I thought I could never do or that I pushed through my training session with an awful head and chest cold makes me feel awesome. It’s a mental and physical high. I have more energy, I sleep better and I feel better.

Competition
Competition comes in many forms and I won’t deny that I have a really competitive spirit. This isn’t so much about competition with others but more of a competition with myself. Each day that I run I try to give a little bit more than the day before. This can be with distance, effort, or speed. If I don’t push myself that little extra then I will stagnate. I am competitive, by nature, and I look at the time my peers are putting in to their workouts and am motivated to try to excel.

That First Race
I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to cross a finish line as an athlete and I will achieve that goal. Someone told me that I don’t have what it takes and I am out to prove to myself that I do have what it takes. It will also set my personal benchmark for future races even though I plan to run it for fun. Now, I just have to remember to smile when I cross that finish line because it makes for a better photo opportunity.

Family Bonding
This is such a wonderful thing that has come out of running. My son, Tobias and my husband, Bryan have both decided to run with me. Bryan has totally embraced the sport and is going to train for a half-marathon after he runs the TREAD 6-hour Trail Run Relay in Mansfield this May. Tobias is considering a half-marathon as well. Both my guys are running my first race with me this April. It’s fun doing this as a family. Knowing that Tobias and his Daddy are bonding and spending “guy-time” together at the track is heart-warming. In fact, as I am writing this, they are doing just that.

Everyone has their own reasons for participating in a sport such as running and I hope reading mine has inspired you.

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