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Archive for May, 2014

As I embark on some serious training for the 2014 Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon, I realize that many of the people who read this blog or follow me on twitter may not realize why I chose such a name.

So often in my life I have felt or been made to feel that things are impossible and had people encourage me to give up. In 2012 I first mentioned my want to run a half marathon and was greeted with “why would you bother?” and “you are just setting yourself up for failure” from someone I was close to. After my heart issue that same person said “we were just waiting for you to have to give up this silly running business” and ” I hope you realize now that you can’t do this”. It is a lack of support that I had grown accustomed to but the difference is that I am a runner now. Running has made me realize that the only limits I have are the ones I place upon myself.

Why the name Finding My Inner Possible?

This is a phrase that reflects my getting in touch with that part inside of me that makes what I strive for… well… possible. My Mom always called this “intestinal fortitude”. From the outside my dreams, goals, and aspirations may seem, to some people, way beyond my limits but I have the belief and inner strength that I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it.  Inner possible is about how having a positive mindset and drawing on inner strength can help me to believe in myself when others don’t and to realize my full potential.

We all have an inner possible. I encourage you to find yours and embrace it. If you are training for your first race, whether it is a 5K or 100 miler, please feel free to train virtually alongside of me via twitter and use #innerpossible so we can encourage each other. I’d love to see how you use your inner possible to do things you once thought you never could.

If you want to connect on twitter just follow me @innerpossible.

Life is short… go out and embrace it!

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finally

finally

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I am so proud to be a Mom and my children are the centre of my universe. My darling Tobias is now a teenager but he still has the big heart of the sweet little guy I used to cuddle in my arms. For Mother’s Day, aside from the gift he bought me with his allowance, he gave me something that I will never forget—his time.

His Dad is away right now and that coupled with the fact that his little sister Kaia won’t have anything to do with the running stroller now that she’s older, makes it difficult for me to get time to train. Tobias offered to watch her while I ran yesterday, so I took him up on it and hit the treadmill.

Before I tell you how that went, let me back up a bit. You may have read that I broke my toes in November and then had a heart procedure about 6 weeks ago. Nearer the end of April I was given the green light to train for a full marathon. During all this time off  I lost some of my cardiovascular fitness. I also developed some anxiety which is very common with heart patients. I would think about running and be overcome with the fear that I wouldn’t be able to breathe again. So I’d skip the run or I’d start to run, panic, and shut the treadmill off after 2 or 3K. I knew that if I was even going to consider a full marathon this Fall I would need to push through this.  Here I was with a strong, healthy heart and the blessing of my cardiologist to train; backed up by extensive testing. Yet I was gripped by a debilitating fear about my heart.

Tobias asked me how far I was planning to run. I told him 4K as that was what I had put in my training plan. I started to run and I decided that I wouldn’t allow myself to give up until I had reached the distance I promised him I would do. At 2.5K I started second guessing myself again. I changed my music and kept going. Then I hit the 3K mark followed by 4K. The fear hadn’t been there like the last few attempts and I was actually feeling great even though I was finding it tough. I said to myself… “Self, why don’t you just do the 5K? You know it would make you happy.” Yes, I talk to myself when I run—it’s a runner thing.

My son came out to see how I was doing and I asked if he minded watching Kaia a few minutes longer because I wanted to try for 5K. He agreed with a “Go Mom Go!” and then Kaia came out and joined in the cheer.  So, with the best cheering squad a Mom could ever hope for, I continued to run. The kids headed back to Tobias’ room to play with Lego.

When I saw 5K on the display I started to cry. I paused the treadmill, called out to Tobias and he came running out to see what was wrong. Between the sobs I explained that these were tears of joy and that I was more than okay. I was hot and sweaty and I felt really good. Accomplished. Three months ago I thought I would never be able to run again. To run past the fear meant the world to me. It showed me that I can do this and that I am still a runner.

This was a major breakthrough and one I desperately needed for my mind, body, and spirit. Tobias’ providing me with an opportunity to run without distraction turned out to be one of the most wonderful Mother’s Day gifts he’s ever given me. I can’t thank him enough. In being so giving he helped me to find my inner possible again—that part inside of me that makes even the most difficult challenges seem possible.

 

 

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